In step one of the twelve steps, we admit our powerlessness over romantic and sexual obsession and that our lives have become unmanageable. In step two, we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. In step three, we make a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand him. It is sometimes said that the first three steps can be summed up as:
1. I can’t.
2. He can.
3. I think I’ll let him.
Turning our wills and our lives over to the care of another, even (or, for some of us, especially) when that other is God, can be really scary. All the third step really asks us to do, though, is to “make a decision.” The actual turning over process begins to happen as we work through the remaining nine steps. This decision is a pivotal point in our recovery and it can bring a lot of thoughts and feelings along with it. Let’s journal about some of that this week.
*What are my reservations about turning my will and my life over to the care of God? What do I want to hold back? Why?
*What doesn “the care of God” mean to me?
*When I think of surrendering my will or my (perceived) control over my life, how do I feel? When I think of God having that control, how do I feel? Why?
*Is there an example in the past of when I have turned over my will and life circumstances to God? What happened? How did I feel? How does this influence my feelings about trusting God today?
*How do I think that God perceives me? Am I willing to entertain other possibilities? How do I feel about that?
*What are some examples of how things go in my life when I follow my own will and my own life plan? How do I feel about that?
*What is the difference between turning my will and life over to God, and having my will and life taken from me by force? In what ways have the consequences of my acting in/out been like the latter?